Amazing Grace Day 3: Seen and Beloved as a Mother

My path as a woman, mother, wife, and spiritual director is anchored by my Catholic faith.

Now it is.

But my life wasn’t always centered in Christ.

I didn’t always have a close, yearning relationship with God.

Although I grew up in a devoutly Catholic family, in a predominantly Catholic country, my faith waned when I became a mother.

You’d think that as a mother, I’d rely on God even more.

Nothing should’ve brought me closer to the Blessed Mother Mary, than being a mother myself, right?

Regretfully, instead of deepening my faith as a mother, I retreated.

But why? For someone who was formed in Christ starting at such an early age, how did I become so disconnected to my faith when I became a parent?

Here’s the truth: When I became a mom, I became so absorbed and overwhelmed with taking care of my home and my family, I couldn’t even hear God’s voice.

The sleep-deprivation, the isolation, and the exhaustion from being a stay at home mom, with no help, shut down everything else, outside my babies.

So I stopped paying attention to my spiritual callings.

I quit attending mass.

I didn’t prioritize my sacraments.

I questioned Catholic teachings.

I let doubts about my faith seep in my spirit.

I called on God only when I needed Him, out of convenience.

I lost perspective.

I was so consumed by my desire to be a loving wife and mother, that I disregarded my role as a beloved daughter of God.

I thought I could make sense of the world by myself.

I thought I didn’t need my faith.

I really believed I could just learn how to navigate my life on my own.

I was sure that my strong motherly instinct and my loving, tender ways was already enough to have all the love that I needed.

What was really happening though was that I was so focused in my role as a full time mom that I turned my back on God.

I was so occupied at being successful with my responsibilities as a wife, mother, homemaker, and homeschooler, I failed to make room for God in my life.

I was only taking care of my husband, my children, and our home.

Like most homemakers, I wasn’t taking care of my self and my spirit.

While I nurtured my family and my home, I neglected my faith.

To all you mamas out there, still in the thick of that stay-at-home-mama-to-toddlers kind of life, I understand your struggle.

Don’t forget to take care of your spirit and keep your heart open for God’s dwelling.

Mamas need nurturing too.