My Redemptive Walk from Darkness to Light
Music: City of God by Dan Schutte
How your walk from the parking lot towards church can renew and enlighten your spiritual life
I’ll never experience anything more beautiful, more healing, and more fulfilling than attending early morning mass.
I was reminded of this song at mass yesterday, as I heard the first lines from the First Reading for the Memorial of The Queenship of the Blessed Virgin Mary:
“The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light.
Upon those who dwelt in the land of gloom a light has shone.
You have brought them abundant joy and great rejoicing.”
- Isaiah 9:1-2
While the lector read these words, warm tears filled my eyes, as I remembered, that I… I myself for decades, felt like I could only belong and had to remain as part of “the people in darkness”.
I lived, wailed, and wallowed in the dark for many, many years.
In the dark, I battled with faithlessness, spiritual desolation, addiction, temptations, hopelessness, isolation, possession, desperation, soul-breaking anxiety, fear, doom, and depression.
But in His mercy and goodness, Christ our Good Shepherd found me, and lovingly walked me back home to our Catholic faith.
Now every time I approach church, I never take my reversion for granted.
Because I recall too hauntingly, how I suffered when my heart of darkness and my rebellious steps were marching away from the church door.
Truth is… the farther I walked away from my faith, the more unhappy, undisciplined, and unvirtuous I became.
Only when I walked humbly and closely back to church, to be near the Lord, did my spirit soften, my joy returned, my actions became more righteous, and Christ’s light could finally pierce through the consuming and crushing darkness inside me.
Walking the grounds on my way to morning mass at St. Vincent de Paul Catholic Church in Austin, TX
Today, whenever I step out the car and make my short pilgrimage towards mass - I’ll never forget that I’m humbly and very mercifully making my way back to our Great Savior who fixed me and tended me back from a million little pieces.
Every brief and careful walk towards church serves as a recollection and remembrance of my reversion. Thanks be to God!
I know this for sure:
Walking towards church so I can give glory to God, receive the Holy Eucharist, and sincerely extend “peace” to my brothers and sisters in Christ - there is nothing greater I’ll ever do in my life.
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